Life’s been cruel to me and unfortunately there were times i was cruel and impatient with you. you’d always lick the tears off my face i went years without any physical touch beyond just hugging you and crying with you. every mental break down you’d give me a few minutes to break things in my room then come to check on me to give me comfort. 2020 was my worse year my mental health went extremely down where i lost so much basic human feelings and remorse i was scared that i lost basic human feelings where i wasn’t sure when i’d just tick, at least everyday i isolated and never left my room i was able to be in bed with you. after turning 16 i never went back so i wouldn’t waste anymore time without you. i miss you so much, my heart shattered i always knew i’d lose you a day i was at work or being far. you were the one thing that loved me purely when i was “fat” i only changed mentally and physically because of you, not a single human being ever motivated me like you did. you were there watching me be put in handcuffs or physically/verbally fighting with either or of my parents. i spent years in and out of mental hospitals or arrested, you’d always be home to witness all the depression and anger i had. the same night we lost you only 13 days before my 19 birthday… i honestly wish i didn’t waste my last few months working 3 jobs instead of staying in bed with you. when i was about 11 or 12 years old we took you home. you were my aunts dog and all i saw was a mean dog who wouldn’t let anyone pet her. when i first got you i had the option to either get a new puppy or you. the day you past it was so hard not to commit right then and there, i couldn’t even sleep in the apartment i didn’t trust myself not try. idk who started that meme of if my pet dies i die as a joke. i miss you so much idk who tf said it gets easier. Im sitting in the sink right now crying just trying to do my lashes.
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